Woman Getting Revenge by Marrying Her Half-Sister's 'One True Love' Backed -

A woman engaged to her half-sister's "one true love" has been backed by an army of supporters on Reddit, the online forum.

In a post shared on Reddit's TrueOffMyChest subforum under the username Bobhaircutalice, the 29-year-old woman, born as a result of an affair her mother had, describes her conflictive relationship with her 32-year-old half-sister R and her step-father.

The poster said: "R has always hated me for some unknown reason" and would "always do terrible things" to her.

She first met her fiancé J, who her half-sister has been "obsessed with" and "still stalks," in high school, where he said the poster stood out to him for her "really short hair." The couple were engaged for three years before deciding to get married this year.

Before the poster shared a series of images on Instagram alluding to her upcoming nuptials, she unblocked her half-sister on the platform, noting that she made her "Instagram [account] public for this occasion."

Given their history, some might think the poster's actions towards her half-sister are understandable. But was it necessary?

Experts told Newsweek that there is a "huge amount of emotional instability" and an "unhealthy dynamic" between these siblings and the engaged couple should remove themselves from "all of the chaos."

In the March 2022 edition of the Monitor on Psychology magazine of the American Psychological Association, Shawn Whiteman, a professor of human development and family studies at Utah State University, said: "The sibling relationship has the ability to uniquely shape a child's behavior, adjustment, and well-being, for better and worse."

An October 2018 study in the peer-reviewed Journal of Youth and Adolescence found that "Although often overlooked in the literature on adolescence, sibling relationship dynamics play a key role in youth development and adjustment."

The study found that being the target of "sibling relational aggression" was associated with depressive symptoms and risky behavior and affected self-worth and romantic competence.

The woman in the latest Reddit post said that growing up, her half-sister used to "bully" her and "destroy" her belongings.

When the poster's biological father was diagnosed with terminal cancer while she was in college and was told that he only had that year (2013) to live, her half-sister allegedly sent her a video she took from the television show Shameless, "where there's a blonde girl peeing on a man's tombstone with a text, saying 'can't wait for that MF [m**********] to (di*) be gone, have fun cleaning the mess I'm going to make'..."

When she bumped into her now fiancé in college, the poster admitted "I so wanted to use him and get back at my sister knowing how much she loved him."

The poster said when the pair met for coffee, "I was honest with him on why I reached out and told him how crazy R is. He wasn't surprised." According to J, her half-sister "would try to sabotage his relationships" in high school.

When her half-sister found out about the upcoming wedding, the poster said she received over 80 "messages of insults" from her half-sister, including "one being how ugly I looked with my short bob hair which I cut for this occasion."

The Best a Person Can Do Is 'Understand Their Own Needs'

Kara Kays is a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) and regional clinic director at Thriveworks, which offers mental health services in-person and online. She told Newsweek: "Families are complex, to say the least" and "social media can add to this complexity tenfold."

She said "the best a person can do in their family is understand their own needs and ask their family to support them. No family is perfect."

The LMFT explained: "Many people keep patterns of behavior going by engaging with the behaviors as they always have. In order for true change to happen within a family or within a relationship, someone has to take the first brave step to try something healthier."

Don't Keep the 'Unhealthy Dynamic Alive'

Jennifer Kelman, a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW) and therapist for the JustAnswer online Q&A service, told Newsweek: "It sounds like the two sisters are locked in an unhealthy dynamic and although adults now, are still playing out their childhood issues. Social media should not be used as a way to play out these issues of revenge or rubbing things in people's faces."

The LCSW said that if the poster's relationship with her fiancé didn't happen as a way to get back at her half-sister, then she should focus on that relationship and "remove herself from this unhealthy way of relating to her half sister."

Kelman advised against engaging with the half-sister's negative comments or responding to her messages, "as it keeps the unhealthy dynamic alive."

The LCSW said: "Focus on the relationship with your fiancé and remove yourself from all of the chaos."

'Prioritize Safety, Privacy and Emotional Well-Being'

Addressing the latest Reddit post, licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) John Sovec told Newsweek that there appears to be "a huge amount of emotional instability in the family dynamic which is showing up as emotional volatility, intense impulsiveness, anger, and relational turmoil."

Sovec agreed that the couple should prioritize their needs in this "contentious moment" and create a plan that works for them.

He explained: "By setting limits on behaviors that are acceptable to their emotional well-being they can establish a working plan together. This will prevent having tension and resentment within the new couple and allow for progress with overcoming the ruptured family dynamic, establishing clear boundaries that prioritize safety, privacy, and emotional well-being for the two of them."

Don't Underestimate 'Petty Revenge'

In a comment that got 5,600 upvotes, user Adaian5443 said: "Don't underestimate how good petty revenge can make you feel! However, if your sister is as crazy as you say she is, I would be anxious that she might try and sabotage the wedding, considering she has sabotaged other relationships of J's in the past..."

In a comment that got 1,700 upvotes, user MrSlabBulkhead said: "She, your mom and/or step-dad might pull something. Do passwords for absolutely everything in your wedding planning, and make sure to have security to not let them in."

User z-eldapin: "She ABSOLUTELY is going to try to sabotage every single thing about this wedding..."

Some Redditors were more skeptical about the validity of the story outlined in the latest post.

In a comment that got 1,300 upvotes, user bobwoodwardprobably said: "So your sister stalks your fiancé but didn't know you guys were together for three years?"

TheSpiffyCarno said: "The story is total bullshit. OP [original poster] is the roughed up 'special' girl with the horrible ugly step sister an step parent. Her only supporter tragically dies :(...of course just so happens to bump into and perfectly matches with ugly step sister's crush...," in another comment that got 1,300 upvotes.

Newsweek has contacted the original poster for comment via the Reddit messaging system.

Do you have a similar family dilemma? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

Uncommon Knowledge

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